Regarding homosexuality, (not even directly gay marriage), i came up with an interesting theory. Stay with me on this one. Our primal nature, sexually at least, is to spread the seed as it were. Have many mates and many offspring to propagate the species. Now, as man (humans) have evolved and developed, it has come with man (in a majority of cultures at least) having only one mate. So, following the same logic, wouldn't a desire/need to have a companion of the same sex be evidence to an even more developed human being? Humans can continue the species with advances in science of course, and the usual way. And man or woman can have their needs and requirements fulfilled.
It's interesting to entertain.
Regarding myself, i recently wrote a poem that seems to be a tangible metaphor for my life that fulfills itself at each opportunity. In summation, my life is like a vase, which every time i make a decision (or don't make a decision) it's as though the vase is dropped or thrown into a wall, it shatters into however many pieces, and then as i try to put it back together, no matter how hard i try, and how patient i am, i can never piece together the vase exactly as it was, with every piece in it's original and perfect place.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
...and the battle begun
Whenever i feel i can't articulate myself the way i feel i should via my music or my writing or whenever i need to just get something out, this'll be the place. I had a livejournal back in the day that Janine and Colleen made me. Crazy suffolk county kids digging me the way they do (or did). I write a ton of music, i have a few stories that i write, and of course lyrics and "poetry." But after reading some of Steve Choi's blogtastic blog today i've come to the realization that i need to stop being timid about myself. If i do a certain thing because that's what i feel is right, i shouldn't feel sorry for it. As always, it kind of always stems back to disapproval from parents. I love being disapproved of by others, but with my parents it just irks me something odd. I'm scared to reveal who i really am to them a ton of the time. It's not gonna happen all at once and i don't expect it to, but it does all start with the first step, and maybe this is it.
But in other less depressing news, (ha), Mike Wuerth is home from school where he did the deal with recording and studio engineering and all that smooth jazz. So he and i want to whip out a batch of my musical creations for all you people and myself, and hopefully throw some gigs and shows together before too long. For some reason Mike "believes in me." And that in itself is beyond strange. (allow me to delve into depressing again for a short bit). I rarely recall ever being told that someone was proud of me, or that they believed in me. And on the rare occurrence when it has happened, i dont know what to do. It's so weird, i can't take complements at all well. I often use sarcasm and wall-up as to not appreciate what was said shown or done. But i do appreciate it, and i wish it happened more, (talk about fishing for complements.)
But i digress. So Mike and Myself will go to town on some music within the next couple of weeks i hope, and i'll soon be sporting a new tattoo around that time as well, hopefully before i turn twenty, which is another great fear of mine that'll perhaps save for a better/later time. Then after that's all settled Pirog should come home in december and Sex Panthers will hopefully does the damn thing. I love playing my mellow to "upbeat" songs on my acoustic, but sometimes, and especially I, you just need to rock the fuck out with some good pals. Maybe we'll play some shows and record also. So much to do in the future it seems, i hope my life boils down to traveling from this part of the island to that playing music at all occasions. At least in the coming months. I'd like to eventually play music off this island sometime too :).
Milk and cookies are calling my name, and so is my guitar. Not literally of course, that'd be fucking some intense trip. So i guess thats the first glimpse into my mind, oh and get off your computer and go read a book.
peaces.
But in other less depressing news, (ha), Mike Wuerth is home from school where he did the deal with recording and studio engineering and all that smooth jazz. So he and i want to whip out a batch of my musical creations for all you people and myself, and hopefully throw some gigs and shows together before too long. For some reason Mike "believes in me." And that in itself is beyond strange. (allow me to delve into depressing again for a short bit). I rarely recall ever being told that someone was proud of me, or that they believed in me. And on the rare occurrence when it has happened, i dont know what to do. It's so weird, i can't take complements at all well. I often use sarcasm and wall-up as to not appreciate what was said shown or done. But i do appreciate it, and i wish it happened more, (talk about fishing for complements.)
But i digress. So Mike and Myself will go to town on some music within the next couple of weeks i hope, and i'll soon be sporting a new tattoo around that time as well, hopefully before i turn twenty, which is another great fear of mine that'll perhaps save for a better/later time. Then after that's all settled Pirog should come home in december and Sex Panthers will hopefully does the damn thing. I love playing my mellow to "upbeat" songs on my acoustic, but sometimes, and especially I, you just need to rock the fuck out with some good pals. Maybe we'll play some shows and record also. So much to do in the future it seems, i hope my life boils down to traveling from this part of the island to that playing music at all occasions. At least in the coming months. I'd like to eventually play music off this island sometime too :).
Milk and cookies are calling my name, and so is my guitar. Not literally of course, that'd be fucking some intense trip. So i guess thats the first glimpse into my mind, oh and get off your computer and go read a book.
peaces.
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